Make the relationship you long
for a reality...
even if you're overwhelmed by family life,
feeling undervalued, and currently on a
different page than your partner.
Registration is currently closed!
but...
Let's stay connected!
We're sorry you couldn't join us this time, but let's stay in touch about future offerings + ideas, and we'll let you know next time we offer Tending To Us.
Can you see yourself in this
all-too-common progression?
Fall in love → get married → have kids → life becomes a shit show →
disconnect and resentment build →
harm is caused → connection fades → fear builds and defenses go up →
the marriage starts to crumble
Maybe you’re somewhere in the middle and afraid of where you’re heading. Maybe you’re near the end of the progression and barely hanging on. Or maybe you’ve already been through the whole heart-wrenching mindf*ck and feel determined not to repeat it.
Wherever you find yourself,
it’s 100% possible to break this soul-crushing relationship cycle and take things in a whole new direction toward thriving.
You deserve a partnership that feels safe, inspiring, and super supportive.
You deserve to feel whole, to be seen, and to experience joy and ease and fun on the regular.
But we don’t live in a culture that supports our thriving–not as individuals nor in our relationships–so if that’s what we want, we have to roll up our sleeves, get creative, and figure it out for ourselves.
Let me help you fast track that process.
Tending To Us is the relationship course I wish I’d had...
back when motherwhelm was my norm, kid chaos was our family soundtrack, and my marriage felt messier than the backseat of our minivan.
It’s my response to hearing “I wish my husband understood this!” from hundreds of my clients (all of whom are moms) over the past eight years.
And it’s the toolbox I believe every progressive parent needs in order to build a solid partnership, despite all that’s stacked against us.
Sign up with your partner or by yourself
(if you're ready and they're not),
and over the course of three weeks, we'll explore:
- Why parenthood sucks the life out of romantic relationships (and how to keep that from happening)
- Why progressive parents are especially susceptible to relationship ruin
- How both men and women’s conditioning is holding us back from the love we so deeply desire
- How we all need to be both more generous and more selfish if thriving is the goal
- The #1 reason women “nag” and men pull away (and how to end this painful cycle for good)
- Wounds and resentments: how to work with, heal from, and prevent them to begin with
- How to be a grown ass partner, even if immaturity and toxicity were modeled for you growing up
- What turns her on and what makes him want to take initiative
- How to infuse your life with more freedom and lightness, no matter how many kids you have and plates you’re spinning
- Why men who go to therapy are the sexiest
- Why women who go to therapy often get angrier
- Why the “old together in rocking chairs” measure of relationship success is complete bs
- How to know when it’s time to grow and when it’s time to go
Designed for busy, stretched-thin parents (both couples and individuals) who want to do relationships better, this course is all meat and power tools and no airy-fairy fluff.
Why this course?
Because it’s specifically designed to speak to the most important and also life-changing pieces of relationship health and personal growth, while also being to-the-point, practical, and time efficient.
Why me?
Because I have worked intimately with women for nearly a decade and know their hearts, their struggles, and their dreams. AND… I also hold huge empathy for men who have to navigate a society that conditions them into a tiny and close-minded box that their whole being has to fit in - one that doesn’t model healthy masculinity and then expects them to somehow show up as a whole, healed person. The game is rigged for everyone, y’all.
Why now?
Because I know you don’t want to waste another moment feeling disconnected, resentful, ambivalent, or stuck. Because life is short and you deserve the quality of connection your heart longs for.
How This Works + What You'll Get
After you sign up (by yourself or with your partner)...
Dive into the pre-course exercises and explore as deeply as you’d like
Join us for (6) Zoom calls (or watch the replays) over the course of three weeks
Become better acquainted with yourself and your partner through assessment tools and connection guides that cut through the fog along the way
Watch or listen to ultra-informative and inspiring guest interviews as you have time
*All interviews will also be in audio-only format so you can listen to them like a podcast
Feel more confident braving essential conversations with your partner, trying new things, and speaking your truth using your new shared language
Connect with others who are prioritizing their relationship on the calls and in our private, Tending To Us Facebook group
NEW to Tending To Us this year!
ADDED WELCOME CALL
with Beth and just the men
This one-hour Zoom call for the men, led by Beth, is a way for the guys to be seen, heard, appreciated, validated, and warmly welcomed into this experience as a whole. It will be a safe place for questions, concerns, and hearing from + connecting with other men who are also prioritizing their relationships.
BONUS WRAP UP + REFLECTION CALL FOR EVERYONE
with Beth and men's coach, Jason Frishman
Jason, psychologist, men's coach, and founder of the men's group "JourneyMen", will join Beth to co-facilitate a bonus call together where participants will be split into groups and reflect on how far they've come, and where they're headed (and how).
A note to women:
This is the course you’ve been waiting for. The one that puts words to your frustrations, fears, and longings in a way that he can truly hear. The one that gives you both a shared language to grow from together.
A note to men:
Man-shaming will not be tolerated in this course. Your struggles and frustrations are valid, I know many good men and imagine you’re probably one of them, and I see you as absolutely essential to us creating a more beautiful world. We need you.
Stop the cycle, learn to better tend to yourself and each other, and take control of your narrative before any more time is wasted living a draining, resentment-filled life.
Who will benefit most from this course?
Tending To Us is all about upgrading our awareness so that we might better understand and learn to tend to ourselves, our partners, and our relationship. It’s also about interrupting passed-down and conditioned behaviors, patterns, and cycles that keep us feeling unfulfilled and stuck. It’s about creating conditions for thriving–even with kids in the mix--despite the systems that are stacked against us.
The perspectives and tools I’m bringing to this course have radically changed my life as a heterosexual, monogamous woman, for the better. Though I have no doubt that those in same-sex and/or non-monogamous relationships could benefit from what I’ll be sharing, I won’t pretend to understand the unique complexities of those lived experiences. In order to teach with integrity, I stick with what I know, and I know the challenges and joys of a long-term marriage, progressive parenting, conscious uncoupling, midlife dating, and intentional, mature relationship building well.
Please reach out if you have any questions about whether or not this course would be a good fit for you.
But Beth, you’re divorced!
I sure am. Contrary to what some might think, I believe this gives me extra cred when it comes to teaching about relationships.
Here’s why:
- I was married for 18 years and loved my husband very much. I stayed, despite the many things that weren’t working, because I believe in marriage, I take my commitments very seriously, and the last thing I wanted was to break up my family.
- We were in couples therapy every week (sometimes twice a week!) trying to save the marriage. I also read countless books, did loads of 1:1 therapy, and dug deep into the harm I had caused and patterns I needed to change within myself, regardless of what my husband chose to change or what happened with the marriage. I can honestly say that I did everything I could possibly do short of continuing to abandon myself, to make it work.
- When it was finally clear that it was time to go, we ended things amicably, kindly, and generously (thanks to three years in therapy together!). The marriage wasn’t salvageable, but our friendship was.
- Three years of dating before meeting my current partner gave me loads of insight into myself (my needs, my desires, my preferences, and my saboteurs), others in the dating world, and the essential skill of letting your heart break as many times as necessary in order to find and/or create the love you long for. I learned not to settle, how to ask for what I want, how important it is to be clear about what I need in order to thrive, and what feels good to my nervous system.
These past four years with my partner (a beautifully self-aware, healthy, supportive, bright, and present grown-ass man) have shown me that what I always dreamed of in a relationship really is possible, and how different things can feel when you (heal enough to be able to) lead with compatibility, self-awareness, and self-compassion.
In addition to navigating my own relationships with loads of intentionality (and therapy), I’ve supported hundreds of mothers along their growth and healing path, and amassed loads of relationship perspective and tools along the way.
If you’re of the “together ‘till we die no matter how miserable we are” mindset, this is probably not the course for you. But if you’re growth-minded, curious, and willing to self-examine AND you either:
love your partner but know things could be better between you,
aren’t sure where things are headed with your relationship and are seeking clarity,
or you want to learn how not to repeat the same unhealthy patterns in your next relationship...
The six live call dates are:
(join us live or watch the replays)
Thursday, May 2
3-4pm PST/6-7pm EST
(*men only 1-hour Welcome call led by Beth)
Saturday, May 4
9am PST/12pm EST
Monday, May 6
9am PST/12pm EST
Monday, May 13
9am PST/12pm EST
Saturday, May 18
9am PST/12pm EST
Monday, May 20
9am PST/12pm EST
(*co-led with Beth + Jason Frishman)
By the end of each 1.5 hour Zoom call (join us live or watch the replays), you’ll walk away with clarity, inspiration, practical tools to put to use immediately, and conversation templates to make it easier to connect with your partner.
Additionally, you'll receive pre-course reflection questions, and then PDFs with handy tools and visuals to help you each take inventory, soften hard conversations, and make sense of your personal needs, values, and more!
About Our Guest Speakers
(They're freaking amazing!)
Jimmy Knowles
AKA "Jimmy on Relationships" on IG and TikTok
You've likely seen Jimmy's often hilarious, viral videos that teach about gender equality, therapy, "me time," intimacy, and more! He's been featured and interviewed by The Gottman Institute, and in this interview with Beth for Tending To Us, this father of four shares about the atomic bomb in his marriage (that he set off!), betrayals you might not realize you're instigating, what male vulnerability can look like, where affairs stem from, what he wishes more women understood about themselves, and what it really means when your partner won’t do the dishes.
Jordan Shapiro, PhD
Author of Father Figure: How to Be a Feminist Dad
Jordan Shapiro, PhD is a globally celebrated American thought leader. He is an international speaker and consultant whose fresh perspective combines psychology, philosophy, and economics in unexpected ways. In his most recent book, Father Figure: How to be a Feminist Dad, Shapiro offers a norm-shattering perspective on fatherhood, family, and gender essentialism. This thoughtful exploration of dad-psychology—presented from an archetypal perspective—challenges our familiar assumptions about the origins of so-called traditional parenting roles.
In Jordan's interview, he dispels the myth of nature vs. nurture, shines a light on the invisible infrastructure needed to parent well, talks about the "lone wolf" story/conditioning that is hurting men, and shares what's really going on when you have an especially bad fight with your partner.
Jason Frishman, PhD
Founder of The JourneyMen
Jason is the founder of the men's group "JourneyMen," and is also a men's coach and psychologist who helps organizations inspire men to lead more powerfully. He also guides fathers to uncover meaning, presence and fun at home, in community and at work. In their interview, Jason shares with Beth his take on the advice "never go to bed angry," the most important part of he and his wife's disagreement process, how you can still get triggered as a therapist, the heartbreaking thing he hears from his guy friends, and why men connecting to each other is an act of resistance.
Britta Bushnell, PhD
Author of Transformed By Birth
In addition to being an author, Britta (she/her) is a veteran childbirth educator, celebrated speaker, mythologist, wife and mother, and specialist in childbirth, relationship, and parenting. For over 20 years, Dr. Bushnell has worked with individuals and couples as they prepare for the life-changing experiences of giving birth and becoming parents. Her work has been enriched by her doctoral education in mythology and psychology, her years spent as a co-owner of Birthing From Within, as well as her dedicated study of solution-focused brief therapy, storytelling, and skills for supporting intimate relationships.
In this interview with Beth, Britta shares all sorts of wisdom about the work she's put into her 25-year relationship, how the illusion of control messes us up, the gifts of differing parenting energies, helpful language for different parenting roles and how to better "tag out" of them, and the reason why some of us might feel sexually flat.
ABOUT ME, YOUR INSTRUCTOR
I'm Beth Berry, and I have a revolution in my bones.
It began when I was seventeen and pumping milk in the bathroom of my high school for my now-grown eldest daughter, and has gradually evolved into a tender, fiery conviction to reclaim motherhood, fatherhood, and marriage from every disempowering personal and cultural story I can wrap my head and heart around.
As an author, life coach, group facilitator, teacher, and mother of four daughters (ages 17, 19, 22, and 29), I’ve spent thousands of hours mentoring and supporting mothers through their process of self-discovery, self-reclamation, dream realization, and community cultivation.
You can find my writing and voice on my Revolution From Home website and social media pages, within the curriculum of my year-long MotherWorthy groups, in my published writing, and in my book, Motherwhelmed.
In this course, a sneak peak into MY RELATIONSHIP!
As a part of this course, you will get an exclusive interview with myself and my partner, Jeremy. I have been private about this relationship because I value it so much, but in this conversation - hosted by Brandy Ferner of Adult Conversation - you will get a peek into the secrets of our relationship, find out what we messed up in our marriages, learn about the power of compatibility, and hear us talk about how we love now that we know better.
I've also included another interview titled "When Tending Leads to Ending," where I tell Brandy all about my journey of uncoupling - all the things I did to save an ultimately irreparable marriage (but some things worked!), how I knew it was time to finally let go, things I wish I'd known (the good and the bad) before I started dating, and a lot more.
Who This Is For
+
Who It’s NOT For
Tending To Us is for you if:
- You love your partner (even if you don’t like them much these days)
- You consider yourself a progressive, open-minded person
- You long to model thriving for your kids
- You are willing to self-examine and look at the part you play in your relationship struggles
Tending To Us is NOT for you if:
- You’re looking for tools to weaponize against your partner
- You’re wanting a quick fix (hint: that’s not a thing)
- You’d rather play the victim card than do the work and own your shit
- You’re okay with settling for the status quo
- You aren’t interested in creating a more beautiful life and growing into the best version of yourself
Equity Seats
I offer discounted “Equity Seats” for BIPOC parents, rooted in a reparations framework/mindset. This is my contribution to Black, Indigenous, Latinx, Asian, and mixed-race parents struggling on the front lines and navigating the intersectionality of their identities. I see you, and I greatly value your presence in this space and contribution to this experience.
Your Hesitations Make Sense...
Your Hesitations Make Sense...
“My partner’s probably not going to do this with me.”
You can’t make them do the work or speed up their process, but you can learn more about your own patterns within the relationship. It only takes one person to break a cycle. Join us by yourself and learn valuable relationship-tending skills you can use throughout your life.
“It feels almost impossible to find the time for another course.”
Believe me, I get it. AND I know how much time you likely spend ruminating about your relationship. That’s not going to change until you change it. I promise, learning to better tend to your relationship and to yourself will be a massive time and energy saver over the long run.
“We’ve tried therapy, to no avail.”
I’m a HUGE fan of couples therapy, and there are many reasons it doesn’t always work. Sometimes it’s not the right therapist for us, sometimes it’s not the right timing, and sometimes there’s a foundation of understanding that needs to be laid first before one or both of you is ready to do the work. This course can be that foundation for you.
“I’m afraid this course could lead to my marriage ending.”
It’s my goal to help you both feel freer and more whole, not to encourage you to stay or leave. We can’t possibly know where our paths will lead us when we set off on a growth journey. Following our inner compass, however, leads to an authentic life–an aligned life–and frees us of the weight of self-denial.
“I don’t want to air our dirty laundry in public.”
You won’t have to! Given the nature of this course (short, relatively accessible, and packing a punch), you will be able to show up, take in what’s being taught, and work through the exercises on your own time, without sharing your stories. There will be space to submit your questions to Beth (anonymous or not), but that doesn't require you to speak up on calls.
What People Are Saying About
Tending To Us...
“This class is amazing! The material is exactly what my wife and I need to be talking about in our marriage right now. And Beth and her team created a solid, safe space for us to hear and to talk about some very challenging topics. I would highly recommend this class to every married couple!”
Matt Mercier
“This course is a wonderful resource both for individual and partner-based work. As always, Beth has thoughtfully distilled the complex into the most salient of points and helps to elucidate the connections between heady content and daily life.”
Sara
“Totally worth it. A necessary reset. I wish I had done this earlier than 12 years into a partnership (8 years married and 2 kids later)... but I will revisit from now on. Understanding our core vulnerabilities, and breaking apart sticky and reoccurring issues into tangible and resolvable items were super helpful.”
Anonymous
“Beth has done the hard work in her own relationships and has so much knowledge to share with all of us. It was clear in each session how much she cared about both women and men, and she has created an incredible resource for couples looking to better understand their partner and improve their relationship.”
Gretchen
“This is an absolute masterpiece of a course. I'm so grateful for the work that went into this, such a powerful device to generate the deep growth and healing that we all need to be doing to be happy and fulfilled in our relationships and in our lives as parents.”
Drea
“I struggle to find the words to communicate just how valuable this course is - maybe simple is best - this course has revolutionized how I view my marriage.”
Gemma
“Beth, it was obvious what an expert you are on relationships and how we interact with the world. The combination of professionalism and approachability you hold is really remarkable. I would highly recommend Tending to Us.”
Robyn
“This should be a required course. It has synthesized so much of what I have struggled to articulate about the conditioning factors that have had such an insidious impact on our humanity.”
Bridgette Friend
“This course has powerful content and tools to help couples move into a new shared space together. I’d recommend it to couples who are both ready to carve out the time and energy to benefit from it, individually and together.”
Colleen
“This course is a great starting point for couples who want to develop shared language and learn how to better support each other as parents and humans. I highly recommend it as a way to open up some deep conversations between you and your partner.”
Anonymous
“Groundbreaking. Beth is a visionary in many ways, exposing our greatest cultural weaknesses in relationship health. This course gives foundational information for healthy beginnings and throughout relationship and when entering a new relationship.”
Scarlet
“Beth is an incredible mentor, teacher and writer. She has a way of supporting people in most aspects of their lives that is so generous, kind and insightful. I would recommend her and her programs to anyone who is searching for someone to help them with their growth as a human.”
Tina
Still not sure you want to spend the money?
Consider this...
- The average cost of divorce in the US is $12,900
- Couples’ therapy will typically run you between $100-$250 per hour
- Buying self-help books only improves things if you’re both reading them (and most are written for women, not men)
- A typical date night (including paying a babysitter) will likely run you $150 (and may not result in authentic connection)
WE'VE GOT YOU COVERED
WE'VE GOT YOU COVERED
Money-Back Guarantee
If, after the first call, you decide Tending To Us isn't for you, simply let us know and we will issue you a full refund.
*Monday, May 6, 2024 is the final day for refunds.
Money-Back Guarantee
If, after the first call, you decide Tending To Us isn't for you, simply let us know and we will issue you a full refund.
*Monday, May 6, 2024 is the final day for refunds.
HAVE A QUESTION?
HAVE A QUESTION?
FAQs
FAQs
This course consists of 6 live calls (which you can attend or watch the replay of)...
Thursday, May 2 - 6-7pm EST (*Welcome Call with men + Beth only)
Saturday, May 4 - 12-1:30pm EST
Monday, May 6 - 12-1:30pm EST
Monday, May 13 - 12-1:30pm EST
Saturday, May 18 - 12-1:30pm EST
Monday, May 20 - 12-1:30pm EST (*Wrap Up + Reflection Call for everyone co-facilitated by Beth and Jason Frishman)
When you sign up, you will immediately receive a welcome video from me, a handy, visual tool for taking inventory of your current situation ("Taking Stock"), access to my interview with Jimmy Knowles - and if you sign up by Friday, April 26, the Resentment Relief Roadmap bonus mini course.
Before each call, you will be receiving access to more guest speaker interviews, along with a variety of additional tools and PDFs, including a Softening Hard Conversations guide and also a quick Needs and Values Assessment (that will shine a light on your personal priorities).
This course has been designed by parents for parents, built intentionally to fit around your busy life and other commitments, but also knowing that tending to your relationship requires (and deserves!) prioritization.
Just sign up as usual (the cost is the same), and you'll have an option to add their details in later, before the course starts. We encourage this so that one partner isn't taking on more of the mental load than the other regarding this course.
Yes, you can sign up alone, or with your partner - either way is a step toward tending to your relationship and yourself! The price is the same regardless of if you sign up alone or together.
Thursday, May 2 - 6-7pm EST (*Welcome Call with men + Beth only)
Saturday, May 4 - 12-1:30pm EST
Monday, May 6 - 12-1:30pm EST
Monday, May 13 - 12-1:30pm EST
Saturday, May 18 - 12-1:30pm EST
Monday, May 20 - 12-1:30pm EST (*Wrap Up + Reflection Call for everyone co-facilitated by Beth and Jason Frishman)
Yes, all calls will be recorded so you can watch when works best for you. You will be able to access them from your personal membership area, via the mobile app, or website.
No. This is a course for all parents at all stages.
Hello fellow introvert! This course is mainly education, you doing work on your own and with your partner, and asking your questions via a Google form (anonymously or not), so no social interaction is required.
I offer discounted “Equity Seats” for BIPOC people, rooted in a reparations framework/mindset. This is my contribution to Black, Indigenous, Latinx, Asian, and mixed-race parents struggling on the front lines and navigating the intersectionality of their identities. I see you, and I greatly value your presence in this space and contribution to this experience.
I am committed to making this course a resource that really works for you and your partner. If, after the first call, you decide Tending To Us isn't for you, simply let us know and we will issue you a full refund. *Monday, May 6, 2024 is the final day for refunds.
For the lifetime of the course, or at least one year.
Please contact us with any questions!
